My Ammunition

Since deciding that I wanted to go to war with Hollywood, I knew that I would need proper ammunition. Everyone in this town has a screenplay, but it takes more than that to be successful. You’ve got to have a plan and figure out what people are looking for before you go of writing shit that isn’t going to further your career.

One of my industry friends is cool with an Asian writer that got a staff position on an NBC show. He was told that the networks definitely look or younger minority TV writers. A few of the things he suggested to have if you’re looking to start a career in TV are the following:

• 1 original pilot
• 2 specs – one of each in comedy and procedural/drama
• 1 or 2 feature specs

In addition to that they look for is someone who is personable, attractive, hip, around 30 or at least acts/appears to be, and can work a room. Apparently this guy had to go through a series of interviews with a panel of people each time so you have to not only know how to work a room, but also be able to withstand the scrutiny of several meetings before being staffed. The process was likened to rushing a frat. I’m not sure what the line of questioning consisted of, but I’m sure it’s nothing too tough.

Now I pretty much have an outline for my original pilot, which I’ll dive into head on hopefully later this week after I finish my feature spec, but I need to decide on what my comedy spec(s) will be along with my drama/procedural.

Here are the top contenders in no particular order:

• Entourage – I’m pretty certain this will be one of my picks. I already jotted down several story ideas for each character and I think I have some pretty potent ideas.

• Family Guy – This one would be mad tough to do, but if I could write a decent one I’d be on my own jock. This might be the funniest shit on TV now.

• Everybody Hates Chris -The best new sitcom this year and one I think I could kill.

• The Office - One of my favorites and is completely my style of humor, but who knows if this will survive past this year. Perhaps not a safe or smart choice, but it might highlight my strengths the most.

• My Name Is Earl – I’ve watched every episode and while it’s fairly funny, I don’t know if I like it enough to spec it. I think it’s actually overrated, but not in a Friends type of way to where it annoys me.

• How I Met Your Mother – I downloaded the first episode a few weeks ago and this one is surprisingly solid. After 5 episodes or so I’m still into it, so that’s a good sign. I can get down with this one. Suit up!

• Weeds – I don’t know if this would be a smart pick since I’m unsure as to it’s popularity around town. No one I know watches this, but I watched every episode and I think I can do something with it. They need to get a creative consultant on board though because a lot of the weed related dialogue/plot points were laughably unrealistic.

• Law & Order : SVU – Procedurals aren’t my thing, but this is the one I enjoy the most and have actually watched more than a few times.

• Veronica Mars – I’m starting to get into this one a lot more than I expected. I have a pretty firm grasp of the characters, although it seems like Veronica has changed a bit this year. She’s got a bit more spark to her than last year. Did I just use the word spark?

• The OC – I didn’t mess with this show until this summer when I peeped it on DVD. That shit was like heroin, and I got that monkey on my back. I downloaded all of season 2 until I got caught up, and watched it over the span of like a week. This one has jumped the shark, but I could take a stab at it. I’d have to resist the urge to bring Caleb back from the dead on some ol’ soap opera type shit. He was my favorite character besides Oliver.

• King of Queens – This show is probably done soon so I don’t know if it’d b a great move to spec it. It’s one of my favorites though.

• Bernie Mac – See above. I haven’t been into as much the past year though, but I think I could nail the voice of the show.

Now you may be asking why Lost, Desperate Housewives, House, Rescue Me, or any other of the popular shows to spec aren't on the list. The answer is I probably don’t watch it or I don’t think I can write for it. Sometimes you’ve got to play your position and if something doesn’t fit your style there’s no need in trying to force it.

What I’m Listening To: DangerDoom

Feel free to leave comments, even if you don't really have shit to say. I’m always interested in finding out who comes across this blog, and since I haven’t told any friends about it I can’t have them post comments to make me look popular and stuff. Write on…..

Life's A Bitch

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. Looks like my power move into an Associate Producer position got derailed due to a minor technicality called lack of experience. The producer that was co-signing for me brought my resume in to the Exec. Producer but was told she couldn’t put me on because I don’t have any TV experience. I guess 28 years of actually watching TV doesn’t count. I wish I could call Jesse and hold a press conference to pull the race card.

So anyway, it looks like I can still get a gig on the show with the hopes of getting promoted to the Associate Producer position, but I’d be starting a little lower on the food chain. The producer who’s bringing me in got promoted from AP after only 6 months on the job, so that’s a sign that I can get in and make some noise quick. Plus she'll be looking out for me so that will help my cause as well. Initially upon hearing that I couldn’t get the AP position I was going to just say fuck it and move on, but something hit me. I had a Costanza type moment, where I realized that maybe I should just go with the opposite of what my natural instincts tell me. I consulted with the girlfriend and she said that she thought I should just go for it and work my ass off and see where it takes me. Working my ass off at the bottom, hmmmm never really had to do that. I almost got out of doing it this time to, but my streak of getting by with my slick talk and educated Negro steez might have to come to an end. I may have to be the coffee and donut retriever. The lunch order taker. The gluteus maximus kisser. Fuck it, I’ll do it.

Now taking this job pretty much means that my broke lifestyle will have to continue on for another year or so (hopefully less). That means making some sacrifices. We’re talking drinking Ralph’s brand OJ instead of the Trader Joe's organic shit. That means going from borderline stoner to occasional toker. And yes, how much weed I’ll be able to smoke did pop into my head instantly upon learning that the salary I was expecting got slashed. Is that lame? Perhaps, but it’s the truth. Hopefully I’ll be able to meet with the other Producer this week and confirm if I can even get the chump job. Can’t count my eggs before they hatch.

That’s all for now. My next post will be about what shows I’m going to spec.

What I’m Listening To Now: Sean Paul – The Trinity

The Associate Producer - The Interview

Today I had the meeting I posted about yesterday. It went extremely well and it looks like I’m going to be pushed through for a second interview with one of the higher ups, hopefully later in the week.

Looking back, I can honestly say that I’m pretty damn good in interviews. This one in particular was great because the producer was very real and candid with me. Even though I met at her house, it didn’t feel awkward at all. The best part about the interview is that I got some more insight into the job and what it entails. It’s much more substantial than I was led to believe, so if I do get this job it will be a huge leap into the TV game considering I have zero experience. This particular producer got promoted after only six months and she’s down for her shit. She’s the type of person you want to ride with because she let it be known what her goals are and that she was going to achieve them. Make no mistake, my main goal is to succeed in the writing game, but if I can get some experience as TV producer that’s a hell of a back-up plan.

So while I spend the week waiting by the phone for some notification on my second interview I’ll also be finishing up my first screenplay. It’s going to be a pretty exciting accomplishment for me considering that I never expected to be going down this road. I’m at such a changing point in my life that it feels like I’m trading in my life for something completely different. I hope I get this damn job……

The Associate Producer

It looks like I may have a chance at an industry gig. It's an Associate Producer position on a fairly long running "reality " TV show. The title is much more glamorous sounding than the actual position, since I believe it'll basically be a high paid PA type of situation. That's cool with me though because I need a gig, and it's a foot in the door to the TV industry. I'll have to completely change my work personality in order to do the job since at my old music industry gig
I was able to do what I wanted a lot of the time and I didn't really have to kiss anyone's ass. I can make the change, and I'm honestly pretty excited at the prospect of getting the gig. If I do get it I will have made the switch from music industry guy to aspiring screenwriter/Associate Producer on a TV show guy in the span of a year. You never know what life has in store. Wish me luck.

Update: It looks like tomorrow I'll be meeting with one of the producers I'd be working under. I have a good feeling about all this.

Don't Call It a Comeback

http://www.filmmakermagazine.com/fall2005/line_items/movie_jail.php

Here's a great article from Filmmaker Magazine written by Richard Shepard, Writer/Director of the upcoming flick The Matador. In this article he breaks down his career and includes the ups and of course all the downs. This guy went from having a nice little buzz in the early 90's to falling off and having all interest in his work die out. Its a great story illustrating how perserverance and sticking to your art can really pay off in the end. His new movie is supposed to be pretty decent so I'll definitely be checking it out.

You're F@#ked in Hollywood if You're a Minority

This past Saturday I went to workshop presented by the WGA entitled "The Write Influence: Valuing Diversity". I wasn't expecting much, but I walked away from the experience motivated and more focused than I was before.

My favorite speaker at the event was Larry Wilmore, a writer/producer who’s worked on such hit shows as In Living Color, The Bernie Mac Show, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, and most recently The Office. The most candid topic he spoke about was Chris Rock’s show Everybody Hates Chris. He openly questioned why such a huge star as Chris Rock couldn’t even get his show onto CBS, but instead was relegated to UPN. Let’s be real, UPN is the ghetto of TV. I know some white folks that never watch the network and if they do they just recently started because of America's Top Model and Veronica Mars. This is the same network that aired Homeboys from Outer Space and that show about the slave butler of Abe Lincoln. Now what does it say about the prospects for Black shows when Chris Rock can’t even get sit at the grown up table? I won’t be surprised if CBS snatches the show from UPN next year.

Here are a statistics regarding writers in Hollywood for you to chew on:

· Television employment of women: 27%

· Television employment of all minorities combined: 10%

· Film employment of women: 18%

· Film employment of all minority groups combined: 6%

To make a long story short, your prospects for success in Hollywood if you’re a minority, a woman, or both are pretty fucked. But if you’re a minority you’ve been dealing with that situation your whole life. You just have to look past it, work your ass off to get in, and try to change things from the inside. That’s my plan, and I’m sticking to it

Winning the Lottery

The likelihood of someone selling a screenplay has been compared to winning the lottery. In Los Angeles though, the odds are a little bit better and I met two winners a few night ago.

On Tuesday I went to Cinespace for a screening of a short film my girlfriend produced. Cinespace is a spot in Hollywood that is a combination screening room/restaurant/bar/etc. etc.. If you’re under aged it’s the spot to hit up because you can get in without showing ID by just nodding at them whenever they ask if you’re there for whatever event is happening that night. That doesn’t really help me out now, but whatever.

Anyway it turned out to be a solid night even though I wasn’t really in the mood to go to begin with. I’d seen the short about 100 times already in about 50 different cuts, and on top of that I just didn’t really feel like being social. I had to go so I mustered up the energy and decided to make it work.

The turnout was pretty solid although it was filled with a lot of USC film school kids. I ran into this writer I know through one of my friends that’s an exec at a production company. I’m usually horrible with names when it comes to meeting Hollywood types, but I can’t be that way anymore. This time though he came up to my girlfriend and I and I actually remembered his name so I didn’t have to bust out with the tried and true “hey man”, or “what’s up dude” that must be utilized when I forget someone’s name.

It turns out that this guy is doing pretty well for himself. One of his screenplays just got optioned and another one is being packaged with some heavy hitters. He was very modest about it though and might not have even brought it up if we hadn’t asked him about his writing. He and I pretty much talked most of the night and he introduced me to another one of his friends. This dude had a screenplay that was bought by one of the Disney companies and we basically just talked about random shit, which always seemed to connect back to movies. Now at first I was a little intimidated, but after awhile I realized that I could hang in discussion with film nerds. I often forget that my cinema knowledge is actually pretty impressive and whenever they referenced something I had seen it and could chime in with something. It was also the first time I had mentioned that I was doing the writing thing to anyone other than my girlfriend so that was weird. I always fear coming off like a poser, but it didn’t feel that way at all. I think I needed to get over that hurdle and from now on it won’t be a problem. He and I made plans to visit the set of a big movie my girlfriend is working on. I won’t mention what it is, but it’s last installment sucked and people will be surprised another one is being made.

The rest of the night was cool too. Red Stripe was handing out free beers, and since I’m a huge Red Stripe fan I took full advantage. I also snagged two free Zippo lighters that Marlboro was handing out. I love free shit and these can possible be used as gifts if needed. So I got about 4 free beers, 2 free Zippos, I found street parking and avoided being raped by the valet, and had a cool conversation with a couple of writers. Not a bad night.

A Job Aint Nuthin’ But Work

I remember back when I was a youngster, the teachers used to ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up. I was one of those kids that wanted to be a superstar athlete. Yeah, very original. As I grew older I also wanted to be a writer, but by then I was old enough to realize that that may not be the most practical of paths to take. So with that in mind I decided I’d be a businessman of some sorts, and I made a trek out to USC with that as my supposed goal.

10 years later I’ve realized that I really didn’t want to be a suit. But now I’m stuck with a Business degree from USC and very little desire to be that guy. I should have stuck with that writing goal, but instead I held on to some lame desire to be the some kind of bootleg Donald Trump or Russell Simmons. I think I can still do my thing in that arena, but I need to actually create something original in my life. If I spend all my life hawking someone else’s dreams and creations I’ll be like a hack of human. The dream of being a screenwriter or some kind of mover and shaker in Hollywood is so cliché, but life is a fuckin’ cliché in itself so I don’t care anymore. I can’t see myself toiling away at some square job, sitting through performance reviews for the rest of my life. I’m 28 now and while I’m not an old geezer, I’m not exactly a young buck anymore. I’m pushing 30, and while that used to scare the shit out of me, I’m mad comfortable with it now.

For the past year I’ve been out of work, and it has been the most liberating year of my life. Sure I’m financially fucked, but I may never have this opportunity again in my life. I don’t have any kids, a mortgage, or a car payment. Some would say I’m leading an immature lifestyle, but I don’t envy the squares out there climbing the corporate ladder and I’m completely comfortable in my own skin.

So now that I’ve decided to revisit my aspirations for a writing career I’m moving ahead with vigor. All my life I’ve always been pretty good at a lot of things, but I can honestly say I’ve never gone all out to achieve a particular goal until now. I’m 70 pages into my first screenplay and it’s much more decent than I expected. My girlfriend is a literary manager and I had her read through what I have so far. I’m lucky in that I basically get free coverage, and since she’s probably going to be the woman I end up marrying I won’t have to pay her when I finally sell something. Gotta love it.

In the future I’ll be using this blog to document my progress, talk shit, and post anything I find worthy of reading. Check ya later.